A Day in the Culture

Dear Blog: Today was full of emotion and culture.  I will start at the beginning of the day.  This morning, we thought we'd embark on an adventure of getting our visa money back from the Chinese embassy.  Kevin and I went, told our story of NOT getting into China, and the man behind the counter said he couldn't help us any further, but perhaps we'd like to speak with the consular of the embassy.  I stayed; Kevin left.  I stayed.  The clock ticked by.  I asked when the consular would be out of his meeting and it didn't look like it would be soon.  I had plans for the day, so made an appointment to come back at 4 p.m.

Off I went to my next destination.  I was meeting several international women in a philanthropic group I've done a few things with to branch out with other groups other than the one we teach with.  I was meeting a couple Australians, a woman from Morocco, some Mongolians, and a Canadian.  I was the only American on today's outing which was to distribute baby blankets and hygiene items to new mothers who had been brought in from the countryside to have their babies at the Mother and Child Hospital.  This hospital has many patients from the countryside (as opposed to their residence being right here in Ulaanbaatar), so they are far from family and often without many of their basic needs being met since they sometimes come here in urgent situations.  Perhaps they haven't had time to pack, so our bags included things like soap, shampoo, slippers, and some other items like this.  The hospital does not supply much to these women; the hospital is nothing like the ones I've delivered my babies in, in America.  In fact, today, we were escorted into the preemie department where babies were 1.6-2 kg.  Twenty five years ago, when I had a preemie, the hospital we were in was significantly better than the one which is available here today for babies. 

We were escorted up and down the halls and we handed out the goodies to these moms.  We met a 35 year old woman who had healthy sized twins...her 3rd and 4th children.  We met an 18 year old who had given birth to her first baby.  We came upon one woman who had her baby three days ago, but we were witnessing her first hour with her preemie baby; this was the first time they had been together since birth (it wasn't clear to me whether it was because the mother's health hadn't allowed her to get out of bed, or the baby couldn't be visited yet because of the rules/ways of the hospital).  However, we were right there with her.  I told her "Bayan hourgie" (congratulations) and she gave me a smile, "Byerkthla" (thank you). I asked a couple women whether they had "erekteh hun" (boy) or "emekteh hun" (girl)? They would reply.  Mothers always love to tell about their babies, right? 

One of the women in our group was given a gown to cover her street clothes and taken into a back room to give a gift to a mother there.  None of us understood why she was given a gown.  She came back out almost as if she had been on holy ground: "Oh, that was a personal moment."  She went on to tell us that the baby had JUST been born before she entered the room and the placenta was being delivered.  She was almost speechless.  We were also escorted to the very tiniest, most laboring-to-breathe babies.  Their tender little bodies were struggling.  We could see through the window of one room with a door closed and wanted to know if we should take a gift into that baby.  We were told frankly, "No, that baby is dying."  A nurse came out a moment later, visibly upset.  The baby had died.  We were all silent.  There would be a mourning mother.  A mourning father.  Our time there soon wrapped up.  Our day would go on.  This day would be an important day in the life of this family forever.  A day to remember and to forget.

Five of us went to lunch and visited.  It was so good to get to know these women who spoke French, Arabic, Mongolian, and English; we all had English in common. 

After this lunch, I trekked over to the Chinese embassy again.  Ahhh, there are so many details about this visit, and I really don't know what would interest you, my blog readers.  Suffice it to say it was a mixture of frustration, humor, and surprise.  i.e., I was told gruffly by the front desk lady that I could ask my question to the consular who was in a meeting.  I asked when he'd be out of the meeting.  Go to THAT door.  She nodded in the direction of a door.  Was I to knock on the door while he's in the meeting?  Go ask your question.  Okay.  I knocked.  Come in.  I walked in.  The consular sat in a plush chair with a couple sitting on a leather couch perpendicular to him.  Oh, should I wait out here while you finish?  No, no, come in.  I introduced myself and why I was there.  He listened to my story.  After about 10 minutes of conversation, it was concluded that he was very sorry that we missed getting into China by 40 minutes, but he could not refund our visa money.  No, he couldn't issue another visa for another time either, unless, of course, we'd like to reapply with another $280.  I smiled and thanked him.  The end. 

I was so angry on the inside, even though I knew this is how it had to be, that I decided to not take the bus, instead, to just walk home to let some steam evaporate from my body.  I was afraid a slow moving, packed bus would just add to my frustration and my dislike for the Asian culture at this moment.  I knew this moment would pass; just now I felt the steam rising.  So I walked.  I walked really fast.  It felt refreshing to walk off my anger.  As I walked, I realized I was also having some confusion and sadness over the difficulties at the hospital.  My mind went to the baby who had died and the family who was mourning.  I prayed for them.  My mind went to the tiny twins who were 1.6 and 1.5 kg.  Would they make it?  How long is their road?

There are no guarantees on this earth.  No guarantees that when I have a visa, that it's totally correct and I'll have no problems.  No guarantees that when a baby is born it will live.  The only guarantees are the ones made by One greater than I.  "But let all who take refuge in You be glad, Let them ever sing for joy; and may you shelter them, that those who love Your name may exult in You." Psalm 5:11