In schools across America, they might experience a "Culture Day". This usually means they go to an opera, museum, or dance presentation to experience their culture on a field trip. It might mean that each student dresses up to represent a different culture. They might bring food from their original ethnicity for others to try.
In our present situation, when we say, "I've had a Culture Day," that doesn't always mean a good thing. It usually means, "I've been irritated by the culture and I'm trying to become non-irritated." Sometimes it can mean, "Wow, I learned something valuable about the culture." So, here's a few recent "Culture Days". Fortunately, it takes several of these items to pile up into one day now for me to feel like I've had a truly bad "Culture Day".
-I don't realize how easy it is for me to pass money to a vendor with my left hand (oops! Bad!) or to put the money in between my pointer and middle finger to hand it over (another "bad"). It is similar to "giving someone the finger" in the U.S. Granted, I don't even notice when I handle money "improperly" sometimes, but I'm sure the vendor ALWAYS notices, right? Would we not ALWAYS notice if someone walked by giving us the finger? So, I'm trying to be more cautious and conscious of this. However, I've been alerted twice in the past week by a teammate that I did each of those things. Ergggh!
-When walking through the crowded market, it's totally normal to have someone slide their hand into the middle of my back if they want to get through. They do this to everyone. Words are not used. And, culturally, I'm used to saying, "Excuse me," but that's not necessary here. Sometimes, I say "Ochleray" ("sorry") to signify...."sorry, I need to get through" and that seems to be okay. I'm still trying to figure out if that's a crazy word to use in that scenario, but for now, it seems to work. I also, quite often, press my hand gently into someone's back to move through some congestion. I feel so smug when I get it done successfully. I hope I don't forget this summer and do this in Walmart!
-Taxi drivers. Ahhhh, they are a culture of their own. I have so many taxi driver stories. A recent "bad" culture day about a month ago included TWO taxi drivers on the negative side and a third one who made up for the other two. All in one day. I was in a hurry to get to a school. I was late, and caught a taxi. He drove for about a kilometer, and then informed me that we'd be stopping for some benzine (gas). What!?! The question in my mind was, "Why in the world did you pick up a customer if you need to get gas? Get the gas FIRST, then pick up customers." Ahh, but that is not their thinking. Their thinking is, "Catch the money while it presents itself, and infringe on the customer's time to sit and wait to get gas." After all, it is totally acceptable to be late in Mongolia. But, I'm American, and it's very hard to set aside my American mindset. I called the director of the school to tell her I'd be late and asked her if I should get out of this taxi and get another one. "Oh, don't worry...just get here when you can!" was her reply. So, the knot left my stomach.
After school was finished, I caught a second taxi. He decided to run an errand with me in the car, too! What? Two in one day?! He drove to his apartment a few blocks away to go get his coat. Again, the question in my mind: "Why pick up a customer BEFORE your errand? Go get your coat and THEN get a customer. I could be on my merry way in another taxi rather than waiting in front of this apartment building." Before he got out of the car, I pointed to my watch and said, "Hoyer minute (2 minutes)." He shook his head. Several minutes later, I was still waiting, and I got out of the taxi and caught a different one.
This third taxi driver was a breath of fresh air. He had a 10 year old daughter in the back seat, and he chatted away with me in Mongolian and English as we each asked and answered questions in each other's languages. It was actually fun and soothed my seething irritation.
-Another cultural experience: many areas of town do not have drainage. Usually this is no problem because of our low precipitation. When we get snow in the winter, it's snow flurries. Maybe twice this past winter was it enough to actually remove with shovels; it is usually removed with little brooms. It is too cold to precipitate very often, and we are in a desert-type land. However, spring has come, and we had two days of rain (and not even torrential rain), and now there are little lakes around town. Out by the school I work at, there's a lake on the road. So, one must be careful how one walks around town. I have been splashed by passing cars as I travel by foot. A teammate shared yesterday how she had to walk on a cement structure to get through a flooded area, and how humurous it was that there was quite a line of people gathering to walk across that area (I'm assuming one way, so there had to be a "taking turns" situation...which is another whole story).
-Okay...taking turns: Kevin and I were at a phone store, getting our service extended so we don't lose our phone numbers over the summer while we're in the U.S. Fortunately, we found a man who knew some English, and I told him what I knew we wanted in Mongolian (and he laughed at my pronunciation...another cultural irritation since I don't laugh at their English pronunciations which are incorrect!). However, during our transaction, at least three people came up, butted in line, and asked this man questions. Finally, I put my hand out and said, "Ogweeeee! (NO!)" and pointed to the man helping us and then me as if to say, "Can't you see, we are doing this transaction...don't interrupt him any more." The man who was interrupting backed away. Again, I felt satisfied that I had confronted the culture just a teensy bit and been able to take care of a need. I can understand that there is interrupting here and line cutting all the time; but sometimes I have just had enough of it. That was one time. I tolerate line cutting all the time. I also have learned how to graciously assert myself since it's considered the culturally appropriate thing to do.
-"Thank you" is not needed. But I do it all the time. Every time I leave a taxi, I say it. Every single purchase, I say "Byerkthlaa" ('thank you') and smile. I get a smile back almost every time. As I watch the Mongolians, it is very normal to make a purchase, hand over the money, and walk away. No thank you's needed. That is one thing that I think speaks to the Mongolians. I want them to know I appreciate their help. I have some "regular" vendors now at the market. They greet me when I walk down their row. We wave and exchange greetings, "Sain Bain Ooo (Hi! How are you!)." "Byertay (Goodbye)." And, of course, my "thank you's." One day I was fumbling with all my bags (remember, I'm shopping with NO shopping cart, and can only buy what I/we can carry home on any one trip); one of my favorite fruit ladies, came around her vending area and held some bags and helped stuff items into my backpack. What a sweety. So, some culture days are satisfying.
But, it's all unique. It strains my brain many times. I often get a knot in my stomach when things go against my expectations. It is something I must give up. It is a sacrifice of love for my Mongolian friends whom I'm here for. All of this forces me to remember that I have been bought with a price and I am not my own.
I share this about culture, because my next post will be about a
relaxing cultural day. Boy, did we need it! Countryside...here we come! My goal is to post it within three days...so check back for some great pictures and a narrative of our day in the country, away from the hustle and bustle of the city!
